sean croxton

Finding your Tribe

Perched over a snowy path, sitting in the Sierra-at-Tahoe Java Junction café, catching up on my Money Mindset Academy class, the air is crisp with sugar and fried foods. Walking through all consuming crowds at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk come to mind – hot chocolate, fritters, donuts, ice cream, French fries. All things sweet and crispy. To be honest, it’s a little distracting, and nauseating.

Similar to how I’m submitting myself to the sweet aroma and icy wonderland view, I’ve been thinking a lot about my tribe, the people I surround myself. These people I submit myself to, ultimately help to create my perspective, my thoughts, my aspirations, my life.

Jim Rohn says we are, "the average of the five people we spend the most time with."

Aside from my very engineering minded co-workers I spend 8 hours with, and my very young children, who are these people? Parents, cousins, siblings, friends, books, podcasts, and TV shows.

I love these people, yet I feel I’ve stagnated in having the support to challenge me. To have people understand me, really know me, and my dreams. To be part of something bigger than what I am, what I’m doing right now.

Personally, I want to surround myself with people who are building schools, who are creating change in their community, who are using their God-given gifts to show the world their superpowers, who are loving life, making money, and sharing love and truth.

Currently I get super pumped listening to podcasts and reading books. When the hour is up or the last page turned, I get a little sad. If only I could call these people up, like an old friend, and simply hang out, letting conversations organically flow about life and growth, and about getting old, and everything in between.

Who do you surround yourself with? Are they in line with where you want to go, or are they keeping you safe and comfortable? We only have 24 hours in a day, how are you spending them, and with whom?

I’m not going to throw away my family and friends, but I can be more selective with who I allow into my space and brain.

With that being said, I jumped at the opportunity to embrace the chaos of Taco Tuesday this past week with a total of 6 kids (4 being boys). A last minute dinner text from my dear friend of nearly 30 years resulted in us combining forces when it came to pulling dinner together. Kids were clinging, screaming, and running in circles. There was homework resistance, there were rumbling bellies, and some were hanging on the precipice of hangry, but we made it and enjoyed it.

Truth be told, being a single mom is quite lonely most of the time, but I find dinner time to be the worst. At the end of the day, with little to give, or little energy to push through to engage and teach the littles, talking to another adult, let alone be part of a team to pull it off, was exactly what I needed.

Having a tribe to lean on, grow with, be challenged by, and just eat tacos with, is where it’s at.

Do yourself a favor and evaluate your tribe. I hope you can feel they are elevating you to be your best, or better yet, better than ever before. Better than you've ever imagined.

And in the words of Judah and the Lion, “Hey, my life is real great, feel I'm well on my way to my dreams coming true, and I'm getting to do it with you"

In case you need some inspo for your own Taco Tuesday fiasco fun night, here is my favorite recipe:

Ingredients

  • 1 pound ground meat of choice, I prefer organic, grass-fed beef for these tacos

  • ½ onion, diced

  • 2 tbsp chili powder (more if want spice, less for less heat)

  • 1/2 tsp. garlic powder

  • 1/2 tsp. onion powder

  • 1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes

  • 1 tsp. dried oregano

  • 1 Tbsp. ground cumin

  • 1 Tbsp. salt

  • 1/2 Tbsp. black pepper

    Directions

  1. Over medium heat, place a pat of butter or coconut oil in pan, preferably cast iron pan

  2. Add onions to the pan and sauté (approx. 10 minutes).

  3. Add ground beef to the onions and sauté, stirring and breaking up the beef (approx. 15 minutes).

  4. Combine spices and add to beef for the final few minutes, and the beef is completely cooked.

  5. Create your tacos using romaine leaves, or my favorite siete tortillas. Top with tomatoes, avocado or guacamole, cilantro, a squeeze of lime and cheese (optional).

Fill those bellies, laugh hard, and love harder. Cheers, friends!

It's all grace.

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It's easy to blame others.

My computer. My kids. My boss. The other driver. BART delays.

Yet most of the time it's me. Ok, lately it's been been my lame, "vintage" computer that needs some updating. But even that falls back in my lap. I'm the common denominator.

Since early spring, I've been saying I lost my groove after Christmas - 2016. Yet it's still missing, nine months later. While some mighty fine things have come to fruition, I'm still in shock it's already September. Now the pressure is on.

Or is it?

I guess you could say since completing my Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification in December, I've gone into double-time work mode. Working from 8-5, single parenting, commuting close to 2 hours, cleaning, cooking, working my side gigs at night and on the train. It seemed feasible, until I didn't want to do it anymore. The passion faded.  

I'm far from perfect and recognize my flaws, yet when I've lost myself in the muck and mire of being an adult, clocking in and out of the daily grind, and having minimal fun, I'm not a great coach. When my own health has become a weak bystander, how can I coach others on their healthy habits? When I'm tired and impatient, how can I be the best mom I desire to be? 

No doubt it's a catch-22. I'm working hard to achieve the outcome of defining my own schedule, being my own boss, and ultimately being more available for my daughters. But the process I've created is not sustainable. No one is winning.

 Jim Rohn says we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Hmmmm, okay. Well, I spend 8 hours surrounded by engineers, that I don't necessarily engage with. I live with two irrational, selfish creatures who use incessant tactics to gain my attention. Time with my friends is brief as life beckons and pulls in other directions. So who is shaping my environment, for better or worse?

That being said, I was blessed to spend Labor Day weekend with some really cool people at a mastermind event. For two days I surrounded myself with wicked smart entrepreneurs, and let me tell you, it was not only inspiring but there were definitely game-changing sparks! 

If you know Sean Croxton, you know he dropped some truth bombs about the power of our mind, fear, setting intentions and taking action. If you need daily motivation check out his Quote of the Day show. I promise it will set the tone to have a kick-ass day. 

Dave of PaleoHacks, whipped us into shape when it comes to website basics and blogging.

Ella, from OnairwithElla, talked about Impostor Syndrome, how to crush fear, and how to take action to daily choose and create a life that energizes us. 

Jake Ducey, whom I had first heard on the Sessions, was every bit as hippy as I expected him to be, and it was awesome. Reiterating Ella's discussion, he focused on the PROCESS, the daily steps we need to take in the process to create the outcome we want, without getting hung up on the outcome. Developing a practice of process will get us there.

Getting back to GRACE.

Christine Hassler, who I also first heard on the Sessions, capped our event with some incredible coaching. My time with her, as well as witnessing shifts in others, allowed me to recognize it's ok to take a step back. I had been going, going, going, trying to prove I could do it all. All for what?

People effing love to tell me how amazing I am for doing it all as a single mom. Lead in questions, always start with, "I don't know how you do it, but it seems to be working!"

Actually no, it's not working. It's lonely. It's hard. It's sad a lot of the time. I'm constantly moving money around to pay bills. I don't get as much sleep as I'd like to be a nice person. There may or may not be a pile of laundry on my couch or still in the dryer at all times (is there a service for someone to fold my clothes?). I'm not able to do a lot of things. It's not ideal. I can't really say it's working, but I'm grateful we're functioning and I can provide a roof over my head, and yummy food to eat (most of the time). 

Not that I needed permission, but Christine articulated it for me. It's ok. Perhaps you're burned out and you need to take a step back. Reevaluate this is your time - that you can invest in the process, which is time consuming, all consuming, and sometimes hard. It's ok to wait, there is nothing to prove RIGHT NOW. Don't miss out on the NOW by forcing something else.

And like that, the pressure was off.

I'm not giving up, in fact, more than ever, I'm more excited to work with clients. However, the pressure was released.  

That's good stuff right there! 

As my wonderful friend can attest, as I was texting her up until I walked into the conference room, I was nervous to attend the event. Was it going to be worth it? Did I even belong there? What the hell am I doing? 

In every sense it was worth it. I highly recommend bschool and a mastermind event with Sean and his pals. If for nothing else, to enjoy the bootchcraft and interesting conversations that come after your hard days work absorbing new knowledge. 

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So what are you afraid of doing or not doing? What's holding you back of sharing the unique gifts you've been entrusted with? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Who is your tribe of 5? I want to know!