new years

A season of expectancy and why to stay in the game.

This time last year, I was a bad-tempered girl complaining I wasn’t getting any Christmas presents. I don’t know who that girl is anymore. I want to be her again because she didn’t know what would be savaged and almost lost. And yet, I don’t want to be her because of all I’ve gained.
— Jo, Little Women

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The oldest of my little women started watching Little Women on her own volition. So last Saturday morning when I stumbled downstairs after sleeping in a bit, I cuddled with my little ones on the couch and listened to these poignant words boldly proclaimed by Jo.

They fell on me like a weight.

So much can change, so fast.

Be it a moment, a month, a year – or three.

Sometimes we’re impatient because we feel we aren’t getting somewhere fast enough; our goals and dreams still seem too far off. And so we quit.

But what if we stayed in the game a little bit longer and refused to give up, knowing that whether or not we succeed, we will be changed; whether or not we were able to physically hold our dream in our hands, we will have gained.

With Christmas 3 days away (side note: what the heck? This was the FASTEST year ever!), I find that despite the hustle and bustle, in the backs of our minds we know the new year is around the bend. We know New Year’s resolutions are thing whether or not we subscribe to them. We know we should be mindful of setting some goals and not let another year pass us by.

We know, but do we plan on pursuing that person we want to become or the idea that has been rattling around in our brain? Or do we let fear hold us back because we don’t want to be disappointed if it didn’t work out in the time span we gave ourselves?

Sigh! It’s ok!

It is a season pregnant with anticipation after all, and I want to remind you of that.

While I’m most definitely NOT pregnant, the excitement of the season reminds me of my anticipation of meeting my babies for the first time.

In this season of expectancy - of Christmas gift giving and receiving, of fresh beginnings with the coming of the new year - there is renewed hope.

Hope that our resolutions, our goals and dreams will come to fruition, and the new year will magically transform us.

Now let’s get one thing straight. There is no magic! Those hopes and dreams don’t simply happen! It’s a PROCESS requiring planning, discipline, and effort....a certain gestation so to speak.

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Did you know the average elephant pregnancy lasts 640 – 660 days? That’s roughly 95 WEEKS or 22 MONTHS! Granted, a baby elephant is rather large at birth, about 200 lbs to be exact, but that is a long ass time. I certainly would not want to be pregnant for nearly 2 years. No thank you!

But you see, things take time! I’m sure the mama elephant is just as content carrying her baby for 22 months because, like I did, I knew it was going to be worth it, no matter how unconformable I was at the end.

When things don’t come easily or naturally, we’re inclined to give up because it’s harder than we expected. It’s not ok to quit (unless perhaps it was a terrible idea to begin with) but it’s ok if it demands some elbow grease and patience.

Another side note: my second grader naturally loves words, reading and writing. Math, like her mama, is like a foreign language to her. It takes effort. Nowadays math is also extremely different from when I grew up and I have no idea how to help her, nor the time to YouTube how to do it every night. Both of us want to give up. That’s not really the answer though. She needs a foundation in math to continue to make progress. I don’t expect her to be a mathematician someday, but today, I trust that as we put the effort in, we will succeed.

That’s faith. That’s hope.

HOPE changes things....the way you face your day, the way you walk and talk. Hope, a level of unseen expectancy, puts that fire in your belly to look for miracles, to be patient through the trials, and to keep pushing through, turning the intangible ideas in our minds into tangible facets in our lives.

Be faithful to YOUR process. Stay true to your intuition, your values. Don’t let the shiny stories and objects of others - or even your own doubts and fears - distract you. Stay true to you, friend, and find a few friends to celebrate the victories along the way. We must stop and celebrate otherwise we’re susceptible to burnout, or worse yet, not even realize the progress we’ve made.

In conclusion, I’m not saying it will be easy, but I have faith that in a year, when you reflect back on the previous year and look ahead to the next, you will be proud of your growth - the successes and the perceived lows that taught you how to problem solve in a different way. And like Jo says in Little Women, “…I don’t want to be her because of all I’ve gained,” you will have gained a new perspective on where you stand versus who you were a year prior.

Little by little, a little becomes a lot!

So, embrace the rhythms of life (know the universal laws), be generous, love, be responsible (you’re in control, don’t play victim), and take captive your thoughts - unraveling yourself from the lies you’ve believed, the stories you’ve narrated that hold you back, and unlock yourself from limitations.

Enjoy this very merry Christmas season and have the happiest of new years!

I trust you’ll get after 2019 and embrace all that it has in store for you. In fact, I can’t wait to see what you do over the next 12 months.

xox, erin  

 

peace and joy


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Freedom.

That was my theme for 2017.

I embraced freedom by letting go of a lot of shit that was holding me back. I took hold of the uncomfortable and put myself out there. I’ve been brave. I’ve been scared. I’ve been nervous. I’ve been disappointed when my expectations looked different than my reality.

I faced a lot of fears, stepped out of my comfort zones, and took an extra bite of courage to do things I never thought I'd do.

From business goals to flops. From relationship giddiness to sadness. I’m proud of myself for accepting the challenge to dream and grow; to let freedom provide the space and grace to show me the way.

Despite the ups and downs, and constant noise, there’s been a lot of knowledge that has seeped into these bones and grey matter. There’s been a lot of growth. And for that, I’m grateful.

The crazy thing about this journey of life, is that as much as we may want others to hold us accountable, offer encouragement, or even do some of the work, it all comes down to one thing:

IT’S ALL UP TO YOU!!

You, me, we are 100% responsible for not only the outcome, but the process. What kind of effort are we putting in? How are we showing up every day? Are you walking in integrity even if you lose?

You can respond like my 6-year old does after I tell her to do something, with, “I forgot!” But let’s be honest, the response, the procrastination, the dilly-dallying you (and I) do is really just fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing, fear of disappointment. When you set a goal, or there is risk involved in your decision, it’s only natural to have those emotions. But that’s where the magic happens. That’s when you learn about how powerful you are, your values and character, and how you have the choice to embrace the opportunity to fly or stay still.

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I’m no superwoman. It certainly wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. 

Despite the growth and excitement, there have been polar opposites. There have been hardships. Potential clients and business relationships went cold. I’ve let people down. I’ve let things remain unsaid. I’ve held back. I’ve let fear build a wall, keeping others out. Phone tag with "big guy" went silent. I’ve completely spaced on Christmas gifts and arrived to the party flustered and empty handed. Heck, I even forgot deodorant once, on the hottest day of the year. Yikes!

Don’t forget, we’re human. We have ample daily opportunities to remember this point. We’re not perfect and most definitely still a work in progress. Whether you're looking to lose weight, learn how to cook, travel more, pursue a new relationship, quit your job, tuck these little truths in the back of your mind as you live with intention:

  • Ask questions to understand.
  • Don’t assume.
  • Live in the now.
  • Let go of your past.
  • Pursue growth.
  • Don't lose sight of hope.
  • Keep the faith.
  • Read. Read. Read.
  • Forgive and offer grace.
  • Keep it simple.
  • It's starts with you.
  • Love.
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I’ve heard it time and time again, 2017 was the fastest year ever. In 365 days we may be saying the same thing about 2018. However, what resolutions and actionable baby steps are you dreaming up to make 2018 a different game than 2017? What is your picture of you thriving?

I'm working up a few goals based on my values, but my overall theme for 2018:

Peace and Joy

Whatever may come, I want to receive as a gift and be at peace with myself, the process, and the outcome. Hopefully I can also spread some joy along the way as well.

Shine bright friends, it's contagious!

Happy New Year!